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If donors and recipients correspond anonymously for over a year's time, and both describe interest in meeting one another, The Nebraska Medical Center has adopted a policy to allow information to be released and the families can correspond directly.

Guidelines for Writing to your Donor Family

The Donor Letter

"My donor letter was one of the hardest things I've ever had to write"… an organ recipient

Finding just the right words to express to someone your sincere gratitude for their generous consent to "The Gift of Life," knowing that they have lost and you have gained, is very difficult.

The special bond that forms immediately between donor families and the recipients of organ and tissues often goes unspoken due to the sensitive nature of the gift. However, closure for both donor families and recipients can be gently facilitated through these very special letters.

We encourage you to take advantage of this unique opportunity to personally thank your donor family and express your condolence to them for their loss. Think of writing your donor family's letter, as a unique experience to send a heartfelt message of gratitude to a family who cared enough to make a difference in someone else's life.

The correspondence should be family-driven. It may be a one-direction, one-time letter of thanks or it could evolve into a series of reciprocal letters between donor family and recipients. Each relationship will be unique.

Anonymity

We offer donor families the opportunity to save a life through organ donation while their identity remains anonymous. Each family's loss is personal. How the family copes with their loss may determine their receptiveness to correspondence with recipient families. Our intention in encouraging donor and recipient correspondence is to provide support to families through the grieving process. Therefore, we initially limit correspondence to an anonymous format.

Content of Letter

Include any information that might help the donor family learn more about you.

• Use your first name or nickname only, do not include your last name.
  
• If you choose to omit your first name, simply sign: a grateful recipient, liver recipient, friend, etc.
  
• Your age and gender.
  
• Your family situation such as marital status, children or grandchildren.
  
• Your hobbies or interest.
  
• Your job or occupation. (Do not mention your employer's name or recognizable status or position.)
  
• Do not include your address, city or state, as one never knows where a donor family lives and we want to respect their privacy and honor the confidentiality we have promised them.
  
• Address the letter "Dear Donor Family."
  
• Recognize the donor families gift and thank them for this gift.
  
• Explain what has happened in your life since your transplant. (Did you return to school, accept a new job, have children travel?)
  
• Your current physical condition.
  
• If you are open to future correspondence from the donor family, you should include this statement in your letter. This does not guarantee the donor family will reciprocate your request, however, they may be more aware that this is a possibility.
  
• Since the religion of the donor family is unknown, please consider this if you include religious comments.
  
• Other family members may, if they choose, include their own letter to the donor family.
  
• This letter will more than likely be read and shared with many donor family members. Care should be considered in regards to the amount of negative information included. Even though the outcomes of some transplants are not as successful as others, this does not diminish the gift. We are still indebted to these gracious donor families whose intentions were to unselfishly save a life.
  
• Think ahead regarding time sensitive correspondence (holidays, anniversary of donor's death, ect.)

How long will this process take?

Allow extra mailing time. First, an Organ Recovery Services coordinator reviews your letter to ensure confidentiality. Next, it is mailed to the organ procurement organization (OPO) that handled your organ donor case. The OPO will then forward the letter to the donor family.

Although most families are happy to receive a letter from the recipient, every donor family is given the option of not reading the recipient letter or they may choose to read it and respond at a later date.

Some families move and cannot be contacted. If for any reason your letter is unable to be forwarded, you will be contacted.

Will I hear from the donor's family?

You may or may not hear from them. Some donor families have said that writing about their loved one and their decision to donate helps them in their grieving process. Other donor families, even though they are comfortable with their decision to donate, prefer privacy and choose not to write to the recipients.

Who do I send my letters to?

Place your card or letter in an unsealed envelope. (Please do not place a stamp, write your return address, or your full name on this envelope.)

Place a separate piece of paper with your full name and date of transplant in this unsealed envelope.

Place this unsealed envelope into another envelope addressed to:
The Nebraska Medical Center
Organ Recovery Services - Donor Letter
987050 Nebraska Medical Center
Omaha, NE 68198-7050

If you have any questions about writing your letter, contact the Donate Life Services office at (402) 559-9566.

Recipient and Donor Family Meetings

Correspondence between the recipient and their donor family can be a rewarding experience. While not for every family, many families enjoy keeping in contact with one another. Recipients like to share what they've been able to do since their transplant and donor families like to share a little bit about the loved one. When a donor family receives a letter from one of the recipients, it reinforces that their loved one still lives on in others and that they made the right decision to donate their loved one's organs.

Over the years, some recipients have indicated a desire to communicate directly with their donor family. Likewise, donor families have also indicated a desire to correspond directly with the recipients. In the past, direct correspondence had not been allowed. This is all changing. The Nebraska Medical Center will help facilitate direct correspondence when both the recipient and the donor family have indicated a desire and has completed a release statement. Every Organ Procurement Organization (OPO) around the country has different policies regarding direct correspondence. The OPO’s policy will dictate whether this will be an option for you and your family.

The Nebraska Medical Center established the ability for direct correspondence between families in the fall of 1998.

For questions regarding correspondence with their donor family or direct communication, contact Organ Recovery Services at (402) 559-9566 or 1-800-956-7426.


The Nebraska Medical Center Recipient/Donor Meeting Policy

It is the policy of Organ Recovery Services (ORS) to facilitate correspondence between donor family members and transplant recipients. ORS strongly encourages transplant recipients to correspond with their donor family. Concurrently, ORS promotes a philosophy of guarding and preserving the anonymity of donor families and transplant recipients.

In the past, Organ Procurement Organizations (OPOs) have been hesitant to release the identity of either donor family member(s) or the transplant recipient for a variety of reasons. Reasons stated for why anonymity should be maintained generally include: families may want a closer relationship than the other party, families may not want to continue a relationship, families may be enduring a financial hardship and look to others for help, families may not meet expectations, and/or families may have different values or beliefs that may be physically or emotionally upsetting to the other family. Today, however, several OPOs believe that the benefits of families corresponding directly greatly outweigh the potential negatives.

The purpose of this policy is to describe the circumstances under which ORS will facilitate the meeting of or release of anonymity of a donor family and transplant recipient. ORS does not actively promote donor family/recipient meetings, we will, however, respect the expressed wishes of donor families and transplant recipients.

Certain general criteria must be met in order for families to correspond directly.

Both the donor family and the recipient have corresponded on an ongoing basis.
Both the donor family and the recipient have expressed a desire to meet or correspond directly in previous correspondence.

The transplant center representative (coordinator or physician) is not opposed to such an action.

-- OPO representative is not opposed to such an action.

-- OPO has policy in place that allows for direct communication.

-- Recipient has signed Recipient Communication Request Form and it has been notarized and returned to ORS.

-- Donor family member (donor's next-of-kin) has signed similar communication request form or statement used by the OPO.

There is no set time frame from the date of donation that is necessary to be met in order for families to correspond directly. As families must correspond anonymously several times and complete the appropriate form that must be notarized, donor families and recipients must be realistic in their expectations that a year's time may pass before their wishes come to fruition.

Once all of the paperwork has been properly completed, a donor family/recipient direct communication can take place in one of two ways. Generally, the donor family or recipient can write a short note with the information they want the other family to have, i.e., full name, address, and/or phone number. Then the correspondence will be sent to the other family unedited. Another option for families would be for ORS to arrange a meeting location and time those families can meet in a controlled environment. Then they can decide if they would like to exchange names, addresses or phone numbers.

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